45 Comments
User's avatar
Steven Losco's avatar

Thank you! I can now say that I liked straight romantasy for ever how brief a moment.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

I hope you never forget it 💖 thank you, Steven!

Expand full comment
Steven Losco's avatar

there is a certain story on the bestseller lists that mirrors this story and I was a classmate of theirs and while I am happy for their success because it took the world far to long to acknowledge their talents (in another creative field), I just wish they would answer my dms. lol (Also doing everything I can, which right now isn't a lot, to get ahead in my field, which I probably will never write a best seller and not sure I even want to.)

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Small world.

You don’t have to be a ‘bestseller’ to be successful. If they don’t respond, many other folks will!

Expand full comment
Walt Shuler's avatar

I bet those cows are I for a surprise when they get home.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Sadly… these cows have seen worse.

Expand full comment
Walt Shuler's avatar

Poor cows.

Expand full comment
Saint-Lazare's avatar

What did I just read?? *Check author's name* Oh. Okay.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

😁😁😁 I’m honored, truly

Expand full comment
RM Greta's avatar

I cannot. Even.

Thank you for this. For going HARD (pun intended) and not stopping. Absolutely brilliant in capturing every obvious horrible romantasy trope AND the underlying bullshit river.

Ugh. Take my heart forever.

Also Ian Somerhalder I fucking choked and not in a good way.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

I wrote this a year ago as a joke for my partner, so I was a little nervous about how it would land lmao (clearly not nervous enough!)

But yeah… I remember feeling real pissed and concerned while I read a certain Maassively successful romantasy book….

Expand full comment
RM Greta's avatar

Ahhhhh I knew it! I felt that same feeling when reading that same garbage book! *High five*

Expand full comment
𝙅𝙤 ⚢📖🏳️‍🌈's avatar

Best fiction I've read on Substack, I literally LOL'd several times. Thank you.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Wow! Thank YOU, Jo, for laughing along with me (:

Expand full comment
Hylia Corvidae's avatar

You are simply masterful 😂

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

I hope to inspire millions with my words

Expand full comment
Alex Jenkin's avatar

Bahahaha Im gonna steal that weird lip graze move..

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Oh totally, it’s described so well

Expand full comment
Alex Jenkin's avatar

“Excuse me while I titillate you by serving the authors purposes”

Gets em every time!

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

(; you’re welcome!

Expand full comment
Pablo Báez's avatar

Moving to Zengland

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

Expand full comment
Ian J. Snow's avatar

I missed the part in the Hero's Journey where he returns with the sword.

Expand full comment
Sister Bobbi Lynn's avatar

My kind of bad romance

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

😏😘

Expand full comment
Kelly Xan's avatar

"It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her." - I have tears in my eyes. You nailed it. You absolutely nailed it.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Hehehe thank you, Kelly!

Expand full comment
Tom Schecter's avatar

I’m applying for political asylum in Zengland.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Prepare yourself for pasties

Expand full comment
Tom Schecter's avatar

Honestly I’m way more concerned about the thong.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

They come with the boots, but the straps can stretch as far as one’s strength can take them

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

😬😬😬 and the bootstraps, I presume

Expand full comment
Tom Schecter's avatar

Like…do they come with boots? Or is it just straps? I get so confused

Expand full comment
Mathew W Smith's avatar

I can smell the imitation vanilla scent from here.

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

You’re welcome!

Expand full comment
allie ailis's avatar

only way this would have been better is if you have two barbie dolls and were smashing them together at the mouth going "now kiss. now kiss and f*ck and kiss and lick."

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Missed opportunity. But there’s always next time…

Expand full comment
Rebecca Landman's avatar

Gollyyyy GEEE! 🤣 wow I needed that! 🤣

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Hehe! Thanks for reading, Rebecca (:

Expand full comment
Lee Summers's avatar

“That was all she’d ever done: pull herself up by her bootstraps until she had a major wedgie,” was where you first made me cackle oh my goooood!

Expand full comment
MA Knight's avatar

Those bootstraps go HIGH

Expand full comment